Wow, I have been a stranger to blogging for so long that I didn't realize AOL has such a vast array of choices for "Mood" now. From enlightened to bitchy to vibrant? What, do they have a therapist working for them?
I woke up today in a *mood*. And it was not what I would refer to as a jolly one (raging B---H comes to mind;) I am not sure what brought it on, but apparently it was a long time coming. Thank God my man went to work early. He would definitely not enjoyed being in my presence all day in this *mood* of mine.
After spending the better part of my morning lamenting various conditions, I got nostalgic and started re-reading various journal entries. Mary always makes me smile. Nelishia and her past troubles, everything she went through to finally have the wonderful husband and life that she has deserved for so long. Erin and her heartache. Somehow, I ended up at Kimberleigh's. I think of her often, and miss her terribly. I sat at my computer and cried for some time, but as I continued reading her early entries, I found I had a smile on my face. Kim and I were friends via e-mail and journals for three years. We never met, yet she was a close friend. And reading her journal made me remember what an incredible attitude and love for life she had. Even at the very end, she was optimistic, didn't complain, and loved making people smile. How Jim, the kids, and her family and friends must feel her absence. She had such a powerful presence. I pray God helps them find some solace in what a wonderful legacy she left.
That being said, this collective writing community served to lift my mood and spirits. That is pretty amazing that a group of people whom I HAVE NEVER MET can have such a powerful, positive influence.
Dialogue with myself this morning: I don't really like this Coach purse my mother bought me. It is not one that I would have picked out.
Now: Someone BOUGHT you a Coach purse. Stop being a brat and just appreciate that you have a motherthat is loving enough to surprise you with a gift. Especially in my current situation: Champagne taste, beer budget. Lobster taste, hot dog budget. Carry the Coach purse and shutup.
This morning: It is so freaking hot in Atlanta. Beginning of June and it is 97 degrees and 80% humidity. Can you say MISERABLE??
Now: You can stay inside with the AC cranked up all day long. You can walk 20 feet from your front door and get in a beautiful swimming pool. Some people are forced to work, manual labor, outside, all day long. GET OVER IT.
This morning: Why does my boyfriend have to be a vegetarian? I REALLY want to cook a pot roast.
Now: He has never asked you to cater to him in the kitchen. He would be fine making himself a grilled cheese sandwich. Cook yourself a damn pot roast, and take the leftovers to your grandmother. She loves pot roast, and she would love to see you.
This morning: The new girl who highlighted my hair got it way too blonde. I was not going for the Marilyn Monroe meets Pamela Anderson look. Just some highlights is all I really wanted.
Now: Some people have cancer. They don't care if they have hair or not - they just care about spending another day with loved ones.
WOW. I AM SO GLAD I GOT OVER MYSELF ;)